Famous philosopher Homer Simpson once called alcohol the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems. And nothing works more efficiently or more quickly than vodka.
Vodka is very easy to make because it is basically just a combination of water and ethanol, usually made out of grain or potatoes.
There are no special distillation processes or aging required to increase expenses or its properties. This means that bars are able to keep basic vodka in at a relatively low cost.
Burnett’s Vodka specifically is dirt cheap, which makes it a great staple in a lot of people’s homes. This product doesn’t necessarily boast any special traits or anything unique, and some people may even consider it a little trashy.
There are definitely vodkas that go down smoother, taste nicer, and leave you with less of a raging headache and hangover.
However, there are few that have the combination of traits that make Burnetts Vodka a popular regular in bars and homes across the nation.
Just what are these traits? Well, let us break it down for you.
I know I already mentioned this, but I think it’s worth repeating.
Sure if you’re heading to a party or there’s a special occasion then it might be worth forking out for the good and fancy stuff.
However, if you’re just looking for a liquor that’s going to get you drunk swiftly and you’re more concerned with the destination rather than the journey, then there’s no reason to go for the quality.
Obviously, drink responsibly, but if you’ve responsibly decided to get trashed at home after an awful day at work, the Burnett’s Vodka is going to see you through, with enough money left over to order Door Dash.
It Mixes With Anything
This is probably technically true about any vodka, however, Burnett’s quadruple distillation and filtration process make it particularly clear so that it pairs with basically any mixer that you can think of.
Lemonade, Cola, Soda Water – it all works together and helps the drink go down smoothly, helping you get to your destination even quicker.
The only thing that you probably shouldn’t mix it with is nothing – this is not the kind of drink that you can take neat or on the rocks.
Like with any other cheap vodka, shotting it or drinking it by itself will leave you feeling as though you just drank hand sanitizer, so definitely something to avoid.
If It Doesn’t Mix, Get Another Flavor
If you want to mix your vodka with something a bit weird, or if the pure ethanol flavor just isn’t quite doing it for you, then you can pick up one of over 40 different flavors in order to properly customize your drinking experience.
Depending on your location, you’ll be able to pick up vodka (see also: Best Peach Vodka – Our Picks & Reviews)flavors like pink lemonade, orange cream, and tropical fruit.
These different flavors mean you’ll be able to make whatever kind of fruity cocktail or concoction that you can think of, still with the super cheap price tag, instead of needing to fork out for a bunch of different flavor additives when you’re wanting to experiment.
With a flavor selection as wide as this, there’s bound to be one that you can enjoy.
No One’s Going To Steal It
Everybody’s been to at least one party where they’ve either been the person that brought a bunch of drinks that everyone else helped themselves to, or you’ve been the one stealing other people’s drinks.
However, when you bring something like Burnett’s Vodka, you’re unlikely to come across many people that would opt into pinching it over anything else that’s available.
If you can take the odd disapproving stare when you mention what your drink of choice is Burnett’s, then you’ll find you’ll probably have the bottle to yourself.
But if people do happen to want to “share”, it’s not like they’re stealing Smirnoff or something you spent a lot of money on. It’s not it’s going to cost anyone much to replace it.
It’s The Working Man’s Vodka
With all the different varieties and flavors that you can get, there’s going to be something for everyone, and due to the fact that it’s available at a super low price (especially compared to other vodkas or spirits), it means that everyone from college students to debt-ridden ex-college students will be able to pick up a bottle and join in with the party.
The More You Know About Vodka
Burnett’s Vodka has some amazing qualities, but given that they’re qualities found in any kind of vodka, I thought I would include a little section about the relatively cool or perhaps lesser-known things that vodka can do.
For example, did you know that…
Vodka Can Be Used To Clean
Take from this what you will, but the 80% proof clarity that you get with vodka actually makes it a pretty good house cleaner, as it kills bacteria and strips grease. Just don’t think about what it’s doing to the inside of your body.
Burnett’s – or any other – vodka will be able to clean glass surfaces and counters, get stains out of your clothes, and can even make your flowers last longer by adding them to a mix of vodka and sugar – how crazy is that?
This is because vodka is basically the same stuff that you get in rubbing alcohol or hand sanitizer, just with a slightly different process that makes it consumable – or at least mostly consumable.
Vodka Is Pretty Low In Calories
Although I am a strong believer that tracking calories shouldn’t be anywhere near as significant in our society as it currently is, the fact of the matter is that a lot of people are concerned with how many calories are in the things that they’re consuming.
If this is you, then worry not!
Vodka by itself is a lot lower in calories than most tequila’s gins, whiskeys, beers, or wines. Burnett’s vodka specifically is about 64 calories per fluid ounce, whereas beer or wine is more usually around 150 calories per can/glass.
So if you’re worried about counting calories, then vodka is going to suit you better.
However, this is only in relation to what mixer you’re adding to your vodka.
Soda water or a low/no-calorie beverage will keep your drink nice and light, but if you were to mix it with regular, full-fat cola then you’re out of luck.
Vodka Is Versatile
There’s a lot that you can do with vodka, as you may have picked up, but I’m no longer talking about cleaning your kitchen. Even as a beverage there are lots of different ways you can consume it.
Yes, it’s easy enough to stick to adding a shot of vodka to your mixer(see also: Cement Mixer Shot) and calling it a day. However, you’ll also find that there are plenty of homemade cocktails that you could add it to if you so wished.
You can also create super tasty vodka popsicles to keep you cool and hydrated (and drunk) on those long, hot summer days.
Burnett’s really shines here due to the large variety of different flavors, because you’ll be able to experiment with loads of different ingredients to create the most refreshing, super tasty popsicle imaginable to man.
Vodka Can Be (Somewhat) Medicinal
I’m using the word pretty lightly, however, there are studies that show that a moderate amount of vodka could actually keep your arteries healthy and prevent heart disease by stimulating the free flow of blood in the arteries.
This spirit can also apparently mitigate high fevers, stress, and bad breath, by killing the bacteria that are the cause of bad breath. It can also be used as a painkiller for toothache ostensibly by numbing the area.
Truthfully, if you can get past the cheap-vodka taste and live through the next morning’s hangover, then you could find yourself in for a treat with ’s Vodka.
Is it the best vodka on the market? God, no. Will it get you trashed for a fraction of the price? You can bet your butt on it.
Please drink responsibly, even something like Burnett’s.
If I’ve managed to convince you to give Burnett’s Vodka another chance, or if I’ve just reminded you that you need to pick up another bottle before this workweek is over, then you can pick it up from most liquor stores, but also from Drizly online if you don’t want anyone to know you’re drinking Burnett’s.